I'm in debt... and it's scary

"Guess now it's official." (sorry, but random HSM references always help me feel better)

Anyway, I'm in debt. Big time. More than I've ever been in my life. Mind you, I'm not an all-out crazy spender and I'm not so far in over my head that I won't be able to make it out... eventually... but still. Also, I'm fortunate to have my parents who can assist if I REALLY need it, but I don't want to have to ask them for help unless I absolutely can't do it on my own.

I've felt this kind of strain before... it was just a few months into 2006 when I had only $26 of my own to my name... literally. I was driving to McDonald's after work late one night to get a cheeseburger (because I was starving) before beginning my 45 minute drive home and BAM! Right out of nowhere an Orange County Sheriff's officer jumps out, pulling me over for going 57 in a 35... right in front of Downtown Disney. Didn't that hurt.

Yes, I was speeding. Yes, it was late. Yes, I was tired. Yes, I was on the phone. Yes, I thought he pulled me over for blowing through a red light one second after it had changed (thankfully, he missed that one). And yes, I cried. Big time. Right in front of him. I hadn't cried in a while, and it was all because I wasn't paying attention, going too fast on Disney's roads, and got slapped with a $157 ticket. It hurt. Bad. I was so embarrassed. I knew it would take two whole weeks worth of paychecks just to pay that thing off, as this was before I ever had credit extended to me. That was the first time in my life I truly got scared about debt.

Now here I am today: two credit cards with a combined balance of $1,212.41. I only have $203.87 in my accounts, so that works out to $1,008.54 of debt. That's over one thousand dollars. One thousand dollars?!?! Yes. That's a lot of money. Especially for a guy who is still in college, barely gets any hours at work, and absolutely hates asking people for money. It's scary.

I'm really not sure of how I even got here. I did have the car insurance payment this month (which took out a chunk), but the other dollars and cents listed on my bills seem to have appeared out of nowhere.

Christmas will be here soon and, fortunately, I finished my shopping a long time ago. I am expecting a little bit of cash during the holidays, as well as a decent tax return shortly into 2009, but I don't think it's gonna be enough. I may have to pay interest on my credit card for the first time ever. Many may say, "no big deal", but interest on a credit card is simply a company's way of penalizing you for being dumb enough to allow yourself to rack up that much debt and not live within your means. Sorry if I offend, but that's just how I feel.

Being sick these past three days hasn't helped much, either, as I've missed out on a good $200 at work I could have made, had I been able to go into work. Stupid two-in-a-row face shifts.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully, I'll find a way out of this hole soon enough. Perhaps I should buy a dry erase board to keep track of my finances? Nah, that would cost too much.

Well, I'm off for some window-shopping, as that's about all I can afford to do right now. Ugh.

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